Blame the Victim

mark's monographs

Have you noticed recently that we are in a season of emotional & psychological muggings?

This is often accompanied by 'blame the victim' for causing said attack in the first place.   But even so, when things die down again, when the attacks cease for a spell, you (the victim) wait somewhat expectantly for an apology.   Never to receive one.

It is then that you realize that for the attacker, everyone else is to blame.   They are never at fault.   And the rationalizations are endless; it is their life situation, maybe a medical condition, how they were raised, it is psychological, they are jobless, their spouse no longer satisfies them, and on and on and on.   The excuses are as numerous and varied as the weather.

But at the base of all the self-delusion is the simple fact that, for the bully, maturity stops at a point just shy of accepting any responsibility for their own actions.   Any at all.   Because when everyone and everything else is always to blame, life takes on the black and white texture of 'me vs. them'.   It can be no other way.   It is a pitiable existence.

I am no longer amazed (or amused) when this form of behavior rolls over the top of me or mine, rather saddened.   I ask myself; Can this sad-sack be dredged out of their self-destructive spiral?   Or does God need to work on them for a season?   If the latter then can those near to him/her be kept safe?   Or will they be dragged through the emotional mire, too?

Such is my rant.

My prayer would be that we (the victims) will say, "enough of this psychological (and physical) abuse".   For us God's Word is abundantly clear;
    Romans 12:17-19 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.   If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.   Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God ...
We are constrained, as believers in Jesus Christ, to not retaliate.   We are admonished to seek a peaceful solution.   And so be it.   We are not, however, required to continue to be a whipping post.   And lest anyone bring out the "turn the other cheek" quote (Luke 6:29, Matthew 5:39) Jesus prefaced this with;
    Luke 6:22-23 Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, FOR THE SAKE OF THE SON OF MAN.   Be glad in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven. For in the same way their fathers used to treat the prophets.
The context of our lives will dictate when to turn the other cheek.   However, bullies generally operate on a much baser playing field, one without God in the picture.   At all.   In other words, this latest attack was unlikely to be based upon your personal faith in Jesus Christ.

So where does that leave us?

My best advice, get away, if necessary, for your own protection.   We are advised to "not associate" with the sinful brother or sister.

Try these on for size; Romans 12:16, Proverbs 3:7, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Ephesians 5:11, 2 Thessalonians 3:6, 14.

Now mind, these are not specific ordinances for how to deal with the abusive bully in your life, but they will point you in some correct directions.

Soli Deo gloria
Jan 20, 2014

Works Cited

-. New American Standard Bible. Anaheim: Foundation, 1997.